At a young age, I was diagnosed with a conduct disorder. Several years ago, I was diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder. I endured years of physical, sexual, emotional, etc. abuse...witnessed deaths at a young age...had several severe head injuries (which I've read is also connected in a lot of cases of AsPD)...
I've been cruel to animals as a child. In almost every sense (with the exception of killing anyone) I have broken the law. One of my psychiatrists said "You're like a female version of Ted Bundy...it's eerie." I have homicidal thoughts and urges which I try to keep at bay by distracting myself (commenting online, making icons, trying to stay "out of trouble") but they are always there. The more I learned of sociopathy and Bundy, the more I realized my psychiatrist is right. He also said that I should admit myself or be admitted to a ward/hospital for the "safety of others" or that I'll end up there eventually anyway (or in prison). I, however, being selfish, disagree with the first part. I want to enjoy my freedom and my "fun" while I have it. I can acknowledge and admit that I am a "ticking time bomb". I am a sexual sadist and, as stated to one member, somewhere in this community, if I were to ever kill someone, they would probably suspect me of being a man because of how violent and sexual the acts would be.
As for my psychopathy and my history leading up to it, I'm an "open book".
I know - "sociopaths/psychopaths lie", but for some reason I'm surprisingly honest online.
So, do you guys agree with my psychiatrist? Should someone (not just me) with homicidal thoughts/urges who has committed acts of violence and broken the law before be "locked up" before they go too far and kill someone?
I've also been told that cognitive group therapy would be beneficial to me. However, I've tried every form of therapy under the sun and all I've taken from it was how to better manipulate people and get away with things.
Should "sociopaths" be labeled a "lost cause", since there really is no "rehab" or "cure" for them?
Also, I've met many people who claim to be "sociopathic" but after a little bit of observation, I can pretty easily conclude they are not. Apparently the media has made it "cool" to be "without conscience". However, if people really knew what went on in "our" heads and what "we" had to endure to get to this stage, they may not be so quick to think it's "cool". Do you think people try to pretend to be something they're not simply because it's "in" or because a fictional character they like is that way?
So...there are some questions in there! And if any of you have any questions for me, feel free to ask. As stated, I'm an open book and usually tell it like it is, at least based on my knowledge and experience.
ETA: I'm not saying all sociopaths belong in a hospital or prison. Some live fairly "normal" lives...but others...